The Hubster's sleep habits

**Let me preface this by saying that The Hubster is eagerly
awaiting this post as much as you are...**

So I'm gonna go in a different direction today. I mentioned the other day that I have had some entertaining experiences when it comes to The Hubster and sleep over the years. There are plenty of random facts I could give you about him, like how I've never met a more passionate Jazz basketball fan, or how if you insult BYU football in front of him he just might take you out! I could tell you how he works (really hard) with computers for a living, but is NOT a computer geek, or how he is my own personal fix it/build anything guy. There's also the fact that he LOVES his 4-wheeler (almost) like another child, or how he loves to camp and fish, or what an incredible husband and father he is. But wouldn't it be more fun to hear about embarrassing sleep incidents? I thought so. This one's for you Honey...

My first experience with The Hubster and sleep was during our second week of marriage. I had just woken up when all the sudden a rather large fist came flying at me from the side. Luckily it was caught by it's equally large twin a split second before it connected with my chest. The impact was hard enough that the whole bed shook! I looked at him shocked.

"What the heck was THAT?!" I said. "I was having a dream." He replied.

"What in the world were you dreaming about?"

"I had a dream that we were at the circus," He explained. "Some guys came in and let everybody else go, but took us hostage. They must have knocked me out because the next thing I knew I was tied up and regaining consciousness. I turned to look at you and asked if you were ok. You said "...yes". The I asked if they had ruined our wedding video."

----At this point I started laughing! He knew how much our wedding video had meant to me. It was one of the things I had been willing to splurge on when we were planning our wedding. Anyway....----

"So I asked if they had ruined our wedding video and you looked at the guys all nervous like and said, "....no." He continued. "I could tell you were trying to hide something so I asked you again. Did they ruin our wedding video?!..."  "YES!" You said in a disgusted voice.

----At this point I was about in tears from laughing so hard.----

Then he tells me, "Well that was it! I turned to the guy nearest me and started attacking him! I pulled out a knife and stabbed him in the top of the head. That's when I woke up while, at the same time, hitting my hand."

----ARE...YOU...KIDDING...ME?! who knew my sweet new groom was such a violent man? Well, needless to say, I was a bit nervous for a few days after that. Slept with one eye open and all :).He's never thrown a punch in his sleep since then. But boy does he do other things! He kicks, he "chomps" his teeth really hard, he "runs", his whole body jerks, he twitches....never a dull moment!----

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Next-- we move on to the talking in his sleep. There is never a shortage of amusing tidbits to listen to when The Hubster is sleeping. When he is really stressed at work, he tends to argue and say...ummm...bad words...in his sleep (You know it's true Honey... Just keepin' it real). Sometimes he tells jokes. The best is when he laughs though. It's usually this really funny, kind of hissing "hee-hee-hee", kind of laugh. One of my favorites was the time that he let out this weird, warbling, tarzan-like yell, paused for a second, then said, "Well that was weird..." We both laughed SO HARD!


Now-- when you wake him up from a deep sleep you never know what you might get. The first time I had to wake him up in the middle of the night was when The Princess was little. She was really sick with a high fever and I wanted The Hubster to give her a Priesthood blessing. It was around 1am and I had just given her some Tylenol. I went back into our room and stood in front of my hubby and quietly said, "Honey, wake up...I need you to give The Princess a blessing. She's really sick." He opened his eyes and just looked at me. Then in a really menacing voice he asked, "Who....are...you....?" I slowly backed away and moved around to my side of the bed, crawled in and said, "It's just me Honey, your wife. I need you to give her a blessing." He recognized me and from that night on I've always stood far away or climbed back into my side of the bed before I wake him up for something! In retrospect, I guess it would be kinda creepy having a dark shadow stand over you in the night...

The Hubster has always snored REALLY loud too, due to HUGE tonsils that were never removed, and a couple of years ago we learned he had Sleep Apnea.  He was given a CPAP machine, which forces air into his airway to keep it open while he sleeps. This machine has since made for some very dramatic "awakening scenes". For instance, we used to have one of those shampoo/body wash dispensers in our shower. One night, while we were both heavily asleep, it decided to come crashing down. I woke up a split second before The Hubster. Just in time to see him rip off his mask, throw it aside, and assume a wrestlers crouch, fists clenched, ready to fight. IT WAS AWESOME! I am laughing out loud right now at the memory!

Another time, the night The Pea got her foot stuck in the crib, I stood at the door (you can bet I didn't stand over him), and said, "Honey! I need you...NOW!" Same thing, mask flung aside Super-Hero style followed by, "Ok! I'm up! What's wrong!" Ready to save the day!

The Hubsters "on guard all the time" personality traits are well known in our home. His dad was the same way when he was young (The Pirate's future wife better watch out). No, we're not afraid of him. It's actually kinda comforting knowing he's got our backs at a moments notice. We (the kids and I) have learned to announce ourselves long before we approach him in the dark or if he's not aware of us coming up behind him. It's actually funny that such a gentle, loving father and husband would be capable of accosting :-) someone in the head, with a knife, in a dream. Then again, he's a big guy (6' 3"). If I was a hostage taking, wedding video ruining thug...I might think twice. I'm just sayin'....