Too Funny...

Let's lighten things up a bit after that last post and enjoy some comedic relief from the mouths of my children...



As is common with an almost 3 yr old we are easing into potty training. The other day as Em sat on the pot things weren't....shall we say "working out"?....the way she wanted them to. She looked at me and said in frustration, "It's not working Mom....The batteries are out in  my butt!" Such a little lady!

One day I was watching a show on TLC about high risk pregnancies. Thomas came into the room as they were talking about doing an ultrasound to see if the baby was breach. He turned to me puzzled and asked, "They need to check if the baby is British?" 

So the other night we get in the car and I lost my patience with T after he had asked about something for the 5th or 6th time. There was definite tension in the car as the blow-up settled around us and silence ensued. From the backseat Emilia pipes up and says, "Thomas, I'm going to laugh at you...HAHAHA!" Then after a pause she morosely says, "Sorry, Thomas." Of course we all busted up laughing to which she responded, "Ummm...Mom? What happened?"

One night in Target near Christmas I had all three kids with me and was feeling extremely frazzled. As I was trying to breathe deeply in order to prevent either a blow-up or tears Thomas said excitedly, "Look! There's the Christmas trees!" Then without missing a beat Madison answered in a high squeaky voice, "That's not a Christmas tree boy...that's just an illusion!"

      Man I love that my kids have great senses of humor!




Loves!-M










      

Crazy is as Crazy does...

Well I took the blog private for a while as some of you probably saw. I honestly don't know if anybody will still think to check back and see if I'm here. If not, that's ok. But lately I've had the urge to write, so here I sit again staring at this screen and it fills me with a little anxiety. I always feel like I have to entertain. I have to be wittier and have better pictures and funnier stories. I feel this responsibility to entertain which is silly because this is my family journal, my personal journal (as personal as a blog can be...ha!) and it's really just supposed to be a place to write my thoughts and feelings and memories down and figure out my everyday life right?

Anyway, lately I feel this need to change. If we're being honest here...I really don't like myself much. Now don't get me wrong. I think I'm basically a good person. I try to be kind, I love my family, I try not to break any laws, I like small fluffy animals and rainbows and unicorns. But deep at the heart of it all there's something there that whispers that I can do more, be more.

I think we've talked about this before, you and I, but anyway...For years I have been plagued by clinical depression. I've been on happy pills for most of our marriage and it's really never bothered me to have to take a pill to be happy until now. A diabetic takes insulin, I take Happy Pills. Now that Matt is self employed we have somewhat crappy insurance. Now my magic pills cost $308.00/mo. Yes, you read that right. Every month when I go in to refill my prescription the Pharmacist looks at me and asks, "Do you have any insurance to help with this?!" I say, "Yes but we're self employed so it's limited." I inform him that because I take the meds for depression our ins. won't cover them because what? Depression is all in my head? Ha. K, I guess it is...not what I meant. It's just not a real ailment apparently. Yeah, don't get me started. Anyhoo, then the poor man looks at me terribly sympathetically and informs me of the price to which I smile, because it's not his fault that it costs so much, and I swipe my card. While my purchase is being approved by the debit card gods in the card machine he asks if I have tried anything else to which I answer, "I've tried everything else." Even then I feel a need to please, to smooth it over for him so that he doesn't feel bad charging me. Here's the deal though, I really have tried everything else. This is like the 10th form of antidepressant that I've tried. This is it, the last straw before I have to look for other options. Stronger meds with stronger side effects that have to be doled out by specialists because my little brain just wouldn't soak up the "normal" stuff. Now add in the fact that I was also diagnosed with ADD this past year (which looking back has effected everything for as long as I can remember-and no it's not ADHD although maybe I'd benefit from some hyperactivity to light a fire under me!) and I have an almost comical difficulty getting anything productive done at all!

So back to the happy pills-I've been looking for alternatives. The soft-spoken woman at the natural foods store suggested that I start taking the homeopathic anxiety pills that Madison takes along with St. John's Wart. It worked for her she tells me, so that's what I'm trying now. Granted it will still be around $100.00/mo. for the homeopathic route but that's better than $300 and I sure won't miss the side effects or withdrawal symptoms when I run out for a day or two. So far it seems to working. I'm taking 1 of my reg meds a day instead of 2 now and the new stuff seems to be picking up the slack. I'm throwing some L-Tyrazine in there for the ADD and it's some days I'm starting to actually feel a little focused. We'll see... I'm also looking into nutrition and other aggravators (Diet Coke and sugar???).

Why did I go off into a tangent on depression and ADD? Well because in my world, they affect everything. They're the voices in my head telling me all day long that I'm not good enough, not smart enough, not organized enough, not talented enough, not pretty enough, not funny enough....you name it, I'm not enough. But lately, I've gotten a little tired of those voices. I've gotten tired of being tired-mentally and physically. When you're depressed and/or have ADD it's really easy to stay in bed all day and sleep because that way you don't have to acknowledge that it all got too overwhelming and you dropped the ball once again and nothing got done. The laundry is still in a heap on the laundry room floor, the dishes are still stacked in the kitchen sink and the housekeeping fairies didn't come vacuum while I slumbered. Some days just waking up at some point feels like a chore by itself!

I've had people tell me that if I hadn't have told them about it that they would never have known that I suffer from depression. I'm good at putting on a happy face when others are around. Who wants to be known as Debbie Downer ya know? But here, in my home I'm just me, craziness and all.

Know who I want to be? I want to be the homemaker that gets out of bed in the morning and fills optimistic about the day. I want to have the motivation and energy to accomplish things. I want there to be clean undies for everyone and no signs of 3 day old syrup dried on the table. I want to go to a parent/teacher conference without feeling guilty because I have not been on top of things enough, again, to make sure that homework got done. I want my kids to ask,  "what's for dinner?" and  not get excited just because it doesn't come from a drive-thru window or was made by just adding water. I want my husband to come home to clean bathrooms and clean towels and a wife who still has some enthusiasm left for him. I want to remember things and be able to focus on a task and actually complete it and not have to take 2 "brain health" days off for every one day that I'm productive. I want to be able to handle my home and family and some other projects/callings/hobbies/whatever.  Right now anything outside of the basics feels basically impossible. Add in the fact that Matt's schedule right now is CUH-RAZY and it's the perfect storm for insanity!

I know, I know, Debbie Downer right? But back to the beginning of this rambling post. There's that little voice that's telling me that I'm tired of just surfing this exhausting "mental illness" wave and it's time to find my mojo. You've heard that saying, "Ain't nobody happy if Mama ain't happy!"? Well it's true. I feel like my own insanity just causes more chaos in our home. I want them to feel like I've got it under control (well, most of the time anyway!).

So I suppose that the whole point of this is to think out loud. There will be posts coming about new systems, both for me and my family, new habits that will hopefully make our family's daily life make a little more sense (along with a few more rants as well!). I'm reading books about overcoming and living with ADD/Depression and hopefully these new homeopathic meds will do the job too so that I can put the money saved on them towards dinners that require more than just some added water! Although, you know my friends at McDonalds are really gonna miss my bright sparkling personality if I'm no longer a regular. I'm just sayin'........


Loves!-M






    


    

Motherhood

From Mother to Daughter: Shared Wisdom from the Heart: "Start now to be the kind of mother you always wanted to be. Don't wait until she's eighteen...Keep in mind that all she wants to be doing--for the greatest part of her young life--is what you're doing."

Remembering...

Back when Em was around 3 or 4 weeks old she got a cold. The kind of cold where you could just see it in her her eyes that she didn't feel good at all. She looked so miserable as she tried to breathe through her little button nose that was all stuffed up and yet leaking like a faucet at the same time. When they're that young it's tough to really do much to make them feel better. She had gotten out of the hospital after having meningitis just a couple weeks earlier and I was feeling so bad for all that I had put her through and now she was miserable with a cold too! As I laid on the couch with her sleeping on my chest, hoping that if she was propped up that way it would help her rest more comfortably, Matt said to me, "She is so lucky to have you ya know. She loves you so much right now. No one else could comfort her right now like you can." In that moment I felt like the most important person in the world. I felt like no one could take my place and that I was a success as a mother. That moment was and still is sacred to me. I still think of what he said every so often and try to remind myself that even if I'm not a perfect mother, I am exactly what my kids need and no one can take my place in their lives...

Tales of a Monday Without My Happy Pills...

Monday was a bad day. Well, actually the last two weeks worth of Mondays have been bad ones. It was a combination of injuring my back twice in those two weeks, disappointment that I don't get to go see my sister (yet) like I had been planning to next week, and the housework closing in on me that I couldn't seem to find the motivation to dive into. It's amazing how much stacks up around you when you are pretty much out of commission for two weeks! My poor hubs did his best to pick up my slack but he works pretty long days so there just wasn't enough hours in each day to get it all done. The kids helped too but in all honesty I didn't make them help with the housework as much as I should of, instead relying on them more to lift and entertain Em when she was needy.

I've felt the funk settling around me for the last week but when I woke up yesterday and felt the fog, the world spinning because I didn't have a "happy pill" to take the night before, I knew that it was gonna be a doozy of a day. Every time I moved my head the world spun around me. Every time the world spun so did my stomach. I cursed the fact that I even have to take the stupid pills in order to be "normal" and that once again I didn't refill it in time to avoid this part of the process. The withdrawal effects strike fast and furious when I miss one and when I finally get some after refilling my prescription I'm like a junkie tearing into the bag, ripping off the bottle's child-proof cap and downing the capsule in one gulp while savoring the relief that the constant feeling of motion sickness will hopefully soon abate.

Em and I headed to the pharmacy, then straight back home where and I surveyed the mess that surrounded me downstairs, opting instead to trudge upstairs and collapse into the rocking chair in her room. I didn't have the energy to keep my breakfast down while doing dishes let alone everything else. "Just make it to lunch and naptime," I told myself. I sat there watching her play, half-heartedly answering her questions and sampling her "creations"  from her kitchen while feeling like I was only partially there, not really focused on anything at all. Somewhere in there an hour or two passed and at last it was lunch time. Chicken and Stars soup was served and at last, bless-ed naptime arrived. I tucked her in with a stuffed giraffe snuggled up to each shoulder and whispered, "I love you..." then snuck out the door. 30 seconds later I was in bed willing the world to please stop spinning. It was so frustrating to finally have my back feel good enough to actually get something done but I was too dizzy to conquer any of the housework calling my name!

I awoke at 4 and immediately groaned knowing that I had let the munchkin sleep way too long and that meant she would be up until 10:00 that night. I realized that the world had stopped it's constant spinning and that if I was careful about how fast I turned my head I could control the somewhat lessened sense of motion sickness (was that even correct grammar? hmmm...). The rest of the day went by at a snails pace. The kids came home from school. Arguments were had, chores were done. Dinner was leftovers cause standing long enough to cook actual food was just too much. Most of my mothering was done from the couch that night though I did trudge up the stairs around 8:30 to tuck the two older ones in bed with the still hyper toddler at my heels.

Thomas asked me to lay with him for a few minutes, he usually does, and I laid there and tried to be present as we discussed his day amidst being jumped on repeatedly by Em. At one point during the conversation T told me that I am the best mom in the world. "If he only knew...," I remember thinking. Of course, I was also very thankful for a little boy who loves me in spite of my.....insanity? Tucking Madison in came next and her beautiful smile as she hugged me goodnight and told me she loved me was such a welcome sight after that long day.

Matt came home sometime later, around 9 I think, and made the mistake of asking how I was doing. Not my back or my withdrawal symptoms, he said, but me. Oy vey! I cried a little while I ate the peanut M&M's he had brought me (I know, he's a keeper) and poured out my woes that are always magnified by the fact that my drugs aren't pumping through my system in their usual fashion. We watched our recorded shows from the DVR and laughed at Em's antics as we counted down the minutes until she would go to bed too, needing some time to ourselves. Finally at 10:00 on the dot the munchkin was changed, given her sippy cup and escorted to bed where she asked to rock in the rocking chair. I obliged, singing her a song that I've known since I was her age, ending abruptly when I couldn't seem to pull the end of the third verse out of my still muddled brain. She yelled "goodnight" and "I love you" through her closed door no less than 5 times to each of us.

I was glad for mind-numbing T.V. that night. It meant I didn't have to think any real thoughts or put together any real sentences. Finally the day was over. I had fought through and won. Maybe not with flying colors, nothing really got done after all, but I had survived and so had my kids.....and on some days, as a mother (especially one who's run out of her "Happy Pills"!), that's all you can ask.






                            

Yay Me!

I am at the Dr.'s office right now waiting for a lumbar injection...yay me! Relief at last! Truthfully my back has gotten progressively better over the last few days but it's definitely not normal yet. I'm not looking forward to the actual large-needle-stuck-in-my-back part but I tell you, a day or two from now I will be a brand new woman! I never thought I would be so excited to clean and organize! Yay me!

*Update: Well it's done! I forget how long those darn needles are (about 5 in.-the typical epidural needle. Just lower in my back). I also forgot that I walk like I'm drunk for a little while after because my right leg feels heavier than my left due to the drugs that he puts in! Hee hee!*




        

Oh My Aching Back!

**This post may bore anyone else that reads it but this is my journal so...**

I believe I have mentioned my back problems in the past. I figure that my kids hear, "I can't. My back hurts too much today." so often that I should probably write down the story of my back problems so that someday in therapy, while dealing with all of my parenting mistakes, they would have the information they need.

Back when I first got prego with Madison, when I was just starting to show, my back really started to hurt. There were a few times that it hurt so bad during the night, when my pregnant self would have to pee, that I literally crawled to the bathroom because it hurt too bad to walk and I was embarrassed to wake Matt up (who we all know has....ahem...interesting?....sleep habits) to help get me there. My back continued to hurt through the pregnancy, which ended with bed rest for the last 11 weeks of it which helped a bit, but the 65 lbs. I gained in baby and especially water weight due to preeclapsia didn't. Then, after the pregnancy, the pain (along with most of the weight thankfully!) seemed to resolve itself except for the occasional ache here and there.

Then 2 years later, I got prego with Thomas and the back aches came back with a vengeance,  this time towards the end of my pregnancy. After I had him the aches stuck around and by the time he was around 2 or so the aches turn into debilitating pain. I couldn't lift him. I couldn't stand for too long or walk too far. I couldn't get the housework done that I needed to. It hurt even if I sneezed or coughed!

I went to a chiropractor who worked on me a few times a week for a while and when that didn't improve things she sent me for an MRI. When she got the films back, there it was in black and white. 2 bulging discs, degenerative disc disease and narrowing of my spinal column at the base. Bulging discs are usually caused by some sort of accident or activities that cause repetitive  bursts of pressure to the discs (i.e. gymnastics), none of which I had been involved in. My Dr. joked that I was 26 yrs. old but my back was 85! She continued to try to help me and it did get a little better but never really went away. She wanted me to undergo Spinal Decompression but it was $2800 and insurance wouldn't help. After a while I kind of just figured I was as good as I was gonna get and my Dr. basically said that she had done all she could for me so I just stopped going and figured I'd live with it.

Between then and getting pregnant with Em 5 years later I ended up finding a Dr. who was able to help me somewhat with epidural injections that would numb the pain for 6-8 months at a time. When we decided to have Emilia I got one right before I got pregnant and that did help but my back was still pretty sore towards the end of my pregnancy and my OB put me on bed rest for high blood pressure and my back, then delivered Em 4 weeks early when both problems seemed to just keep getting worse (not to mention Em was just getting too darn big in there!). I got the injections once or twice a year until they just stopped being as effective as they had previously been. The next step was surgery to shave the bulging portion off of my disc.

About a year ago I had laproscopic surgery to remove part of a bulging disk in my lower back. The surgery I ended up with only had a 50% chance of curing my back pain but had a significantly higher chance of curing the pain down my leg caused by the disk pressing on my sciatic nerve. So I went for it. It totally took care of my leg pain but my back continued to ache off and on. Aching I can handle. Aching was good compared to the debilitating pain that I had before.

Since the surgery I have aggravated my back once or twice and have had some soreness but nothing too serious.The biggest thing is just that it makes my back sore to vacuum, sweep and mop, and scrub the tubs. It's usually sore after cleaning up a really messy kitchen and doing the dishes too. Basically I just had to remember to only pick one back aggravating activity to do in one day. If I did more than one, I would be pretty sore for the rest of the day. In the last 6 months or so I've started to notice more incidences where my back would spasm painfully during which I wouldn't be able to stand, which was really embarrassing when it happened in front of anyone! Then 2 weeks ago I bent over to pick up a small laundry basket and the pain shot through my back. When this happens it makes my legs go weak and I sat on the floor for a little and did some stretches hoping that it would at least relieve the problem to a point that I could still function. It didn't. My back continued to hurt and I was pretty limited as to what I could do for the next 4 or 5 days. Then just as it was almost back to normal, this past Sunday night I bent over and was petting my neighbor's dog and it happened again but worse (luckily they were out of town and not there to witness the incident!). I went down on my knees in the garage and didn't know if I could stand back up. Matt was inside the house and I managed to get up and go in and we walked home slowly. Once we got home I bent to touch my toes, which stretches my back and in the past had helped to relieve some of the pain, when it happened again but worse still and I found myself once again down on my knees. Matt was brushing his teeth and I went down on the floor out of his sight so when he turned around I was gone. I heard him say, "Hellooooo?" and there I was crying on my knees on the floor out of his sight. Now that I think about it, it was kind of a funny moment!

Well since then I've gotten in to see my back doctor and he's pretty sure that I've reherniated my disc. NOT. COOL. He gave me anti-inflammatories and some pain meds to get me through while we wait for a pre-authorization from my insurance for another epidural injection. We have new insurance and because Matt is self-employed it is not a group plan and therefore has a $5000 deductible! It seems silly to have to get a pre-auth when my insurance isn't even going to pay for the $600 injection but I guess at least it starts to make a dent towards the deductible...Sigh.

Anyhoo, that's where I'm at now. My back's a little better than it was. Today I can wash both hands at the same time and lean forward when I put my mascara on. Last night I actually slept instead of being awake almost all night  because it hurt too bad to lay down. I walked down the sidewalk to a friend's house today, about 4 houses down, and although I couldn't quite stand up all the way straight while walking, I made it there and back and that's an improvement from a few days ago! I'm extremely annoyed that I can't just bend down and pick up all the little things that get left all over the place each day with kids running around or throw in a load of laundry or do a simple load of dishes. I'm frustrated that Matt has to come home from a long day at work and pick up my slack. But my kids have done a wonderful job of serving me and they've learned some housekeeping skills too.

Really, it could be SO much worse and I am so thankful for my overall health. Right now it's a pain and sometimes I worry about what my future holds with this back of mine but for now I just thank my lucky stars that it's not something more serious and that I have a sweet husband who doesn't mind helping me get my PJ's on when it hurts too bad to do it myself!

Better Late than Never!

I know I know...Christmas is SO OVER! But I took my little blog sabbatical over the Christmas holiday and didn't get to post pictures of my own Christmas decor to be recorded for posterity. So! I will now rewind time and pretend it is Christmas again because well, it's my blog and I can do that. Without further adieu....

This was our Family Room tree. I was fortunate enough this year to be able to buy a new tree and new ornaments and decided that I wanted something really fun for the kids. I went with a sweets theme and really liked how it turned out. The Baker Santa was my favorite find! He was perfect and I was sad to see him go when we packed everything up until next year...

I was ridiculously excited about my cute wrapping paper this year! It coordinated perfectly with my decorations and made me happy every time I looked at it. I am such. a. dork.

The mantel...

Above the entertainment center...

(P.S. I hate using my flash! Someday I will have a camera with a higher ISO and life will be good....)

I have to say that one of my other very favorite aspects of my sweets theme were the cupcake ornaments that I made. I had tried to find some that were already made but they were all either too expensive or not very cute. I took matters into my own hands and was pleasantly surprised by my results! They look good enough to eat right? RIGHT?!

I have to say, I loved my brightly colored sweets themed decor so much that I was sad to take it down. It felt so dreary to go back to my normal everyday decorations after having looked at bright sparkly ornaments everyday for so long.

We also have a tree in our Living Room. It's a giant 12 footer and to be completely honest...it's STILL UP! We painted Madison's room (as I mentioned in my last post) I've had some back issues (TWICE) and it's not lookin' like it's coming down anytime soon unless the hubster takes matters into his own hands or I get a back transplant STAT! **Please see apology at bottom** Anyway, back to the living room...

Not the best picture but you get the idea....

We got this nativity a couple of years ago at Costco and we get so many compliments on it! I always wanted a big beautiful nativity that my kids would grow up seeing each year. Hopefully they think of the true meaning of Christmas at least a couple of times each year when they look at it.

I also have a smaller skinnier tree up in the hallway that the kids got to decorate on their own this year and forgot to take a picture of it....darn! The each have a smaller tree in their rooms that they bought with their own money last year. We take Christmas very seriously around here...can you tell?! 

**I would also like to take this opportunity to apologize for any embarrassment I may have caused to my neighbors and or husband due to my rogue tree still being visible through my front window. Please except my humblest of apologies regarding this matter and know that as soon as I am physically (...and mentally? Don't hold your breath!) able, I will see to it that said tree is removed and stored away. I do however think that it might be cute to just add some shiny red heart ornaments and leave it up until Valentine's Day! The hubster however did not share my enthusiasm for the idea:( Anyway, until the day I finally do dis-assemble our 12 foot lighted monstrosity, please enjoy my efforts to keep the holidays alive! You're welcome. **

Spinning Plates...

For Christmas my parents gave each of the older kids $50.00 to spend on whatever caught their fancy...SO GENEROUS! Thomas spent his on a laser tag gun set, some surprisingly good quality walkie talkies and a large Hex Bug. Madison decided to spend hers on sprucing up her room. Hmmm...whoever could she have gotten the decorating bug from? Not me I'm sure...hee hee. Anyway, she spent some money on a cute furry pillow for her bed and then decided to spend the rest on paint. Of course, if we're being really honest then I must confess that I've chipped in some extra money to the project. It was fun to go out for a GNO with her and buy her pillow and pick her paint colors. Her and Thomas have been busy painting away for the last two days and I have been shuttling them back and forth to Home Depot the last 3 days and also supervising the project trying to ensure the paint goes on the walls and nothing else.

While doing all this the house has fallen apart around me. The dishes just got done, like minutes ago, and the counters wiped off. As for the rest of the house? It looks like a bomb went off in pretty much every room. We are mostly out of groceries that would actually make a balanced, complete meal BUT after hanging at The Depot 3 times with 3 children repeatedly in the last week, I am fresh out of patience and energy to attempt the grocery store now. I have no idea what we're gonna eat for dinner tonight. Lunch isn't looking to promising either at this point and it should have been served two hours ago! I keep looking around and thinking of all of the other things that need to be cleaned and de-cluttered and organized around this place. None of it's gettin' done anytime soon!

But I keep reminding myself that I'm doing what's important. My kids are building skills and confidence. I am showing them that I believe in them, that I trust them with important projects. I am spending time with them that they will remember...and so will I. I am helping them complete a project that Madison and I have talked about doing for a long time. The proud smiles on their faces when they show me the progress they've made make it all worth the grinding halt that has come to the rest of the house. Yeah, this was a good idea. I'm glad we're doing it.

Now, about tonights dinner....is Behr paint non-toxic?






Kidding...just kidding!!!







    

Christmas Memory--30 second Santa Claus...

To those who may still be reading my blog (thanks by the way!): I was reading posts back from the beginning of this blog and thought I'd repost this since we did just finish with Christmas. It made me laugh and yes, we did go to the mall this year! I'll be back soon, after having taken my blog sabbatical, but until then...enjoy! 

Found this on SketchySantas.com and it seemed fitting...

Ok, so yesterday I had the brilliant idea that I would take the kids to see Santa. We see the same Santa at the same mall every year. I've always told my kids that this one is the REAL Santa and the rest are just helpers. So I go through all the trouble of throwing the little darlings in the car with the hopes of getting just one good pic of all three with Old St. Nick. Half way there I realize I forgot my camera. (Insert faux swear word!) We get there, meet my Mom and she tells me she brought her camera. Yeah! We hit the North Pole and there's no line! Yippee!!! HOWEVER-There is a sign that says no personal pics are allowed. WHAT!? But of course they would be happy to take them for me for the low price of $20.00 for 2 5x7's. I could get like, well, 20 5x7's for 20 bucks at Wal-Mart. Now call me old fashioned but how hard is it to just let a parent take a little snap shot of their crying baby on Chris Cringle's lap? So I tell the Kiddie Kandids' Chick dressed like an Elf no thanks and usher the kids in. Santa sits one older kid on each side (what's the use in subjecting The Pea to the age old toddler inflicted horror of the White Bearded One if I can't capture it for posterity) and in about 30 seconds flat asks them what they want, gets their answer and tells them he'll see what he can do, then moves them along with a story book. They leave a bit shell shocked to be honest. The Pirate turns to me and says, "That's it? That was boring!" I felt bad. They look forward for months and then don't even get the courtesy of being asked if they've been naughty or nice! Oh, and to top it all off? I was informed by The Princess that Santa had garlic breath! How about an after lunch candy cane Santa?

Next we move onto Things Remembered with my Mom to get a Christmas Ornament for my brother's baby and I proceed to tell The Pirate no less than 20 times to stop running around, stop hanging on me, stop playing chicken with the Christmas train that keeps driving laps around the mall corridors and most of all stop stretching his shirt over his knees and hopping around like a hobbit while I try to focus enough brain power on helping my Mom pick out the ornament and also keep The Pea entertained because she has now decided that she will not sit peacefully in her stroller like she usually does but instead wants to be held and is determined to touch ever shiny silver object on the counter top in front of her (whew!). Alas, we survive and bid the Things Remembered employee adeu. At this point, all though technically The Pirate does not deserve a ride on the Christmas train, I figure it will buy me a good 5-7 minutes of peace and I happily allow my very generous Mother to buy tickets for it. I place The Pea on the lap of The Princess, threaten The Pirate if he even thinks about standing up during the trip and remind them to keep their hands inside the ride at all times. I then wave giddily as they drive off. I proceed to spend the next 5 minutes taking deep cleansing breaths and dreaming of the darling pink dress I saw at Dillards (that I can't justify buying) that would look so cute on The Pea. Yeah so, 5 minutes goes REALLY fast!

So now I'm thinking I can still salvage the day with lunch. My kids LOVE eating at the mall. They always get The Village Pizzeria. Spaghetti for The Pirate and Ziti for The Princess. Throw in more bread sticks than any two children should consume in one meal and you've got a meal made in heaven! We get our food, sit down and I start cutting spaghetti. I think, "Hey, The Pirate never finishes his spaghetti. I'll give The Pea some and I won't have to spend more dough on something for her." The first three bites go well. Then she decides to help. You know the drill. You're trying to get the food to the toddlers mouth and a power struggle ensues. I tried to get the fork away before she could drop the contents and she decides to flip the thing and spaghetti splatters EVERYWHERE! She honestly looked like she had been in a food fight. It was all over her face, her clothes, in her eyes, and all over her stroller (where's the camera now?). I have to admit. I put my face in my hands and just sat for a minute. To cry or not to cry... You'd be proud, I didn't cry. I cleaned her up then went and stood in line for a ridiculously long time to get her a corn dog that she would eat roughly 3 bites of. Better have been some darn tasty bites! During all of this my sweet Mother had gone and got me lunch. I sat down to eat while listening to The Pirate ask for quarters repeatedly. I finally threatened to never give him another quarter as long as he lived (which at this point was looking like a mighty short time) and tried to enjoy my Charlie's Steakery. After a few minutes Grandma came to the rescue and gave them money for the carousel and the claw machine and I finished up my Chicken Philly.

By this time I was more than ready to go but my Mom offered ice cream and a sista needs ice cream at a time like this! The Pirate decided to pull out the spoiled rotten act and pout about the lack of Oreo ice cream cones at Dairy Queen but quickly apologized when faced with the alternative of no ice cream at all and gratefully accepted a vanilla cone. I didn't want to rush my Mom so I agreed to go to Bath and Body Works where she needed to buy a gift. Besides, if I ever needed aromatherapy today was the day! We were there about ten minutes and I think The Pirate had been told to get out of the middle of the teetering display shelves three times. He and The Princess had sprayed probably 5 different perfumes on themselves and The Pea was started a full scale meltdown. My poor Mom made her purchase and we hightailed it outta there!

Well, that was the end. We made our way to the car, hugged Grandma goodbye and I instructed them to get in the car through gritted teeth. The ride home was quiet. I think they were a teensy bit afraid of me. Hmmm...go figure.

Honestly, my kids are great kids-usually. What is it that brings out the worst in them sometimes? I admit, I did have a picture in my head of how I had wanted the day to go. But really? The Pirate is always some level of a spaz but this time he was in rare form. The Pea is famous for her peaceful disposition and willingness to happily sit in her stroller for long periods of time. Uh, not today. And The Princess hardly ever misbehaves out in public and even she had to be reprimanded a few times. I tell you, I shoulda dragged those 3 back to Santa at the end of that trip and demanded he ask the naughty or nice question and then whipped out my personal camera and taken a pic of Mr. Bowl Full of Jelly right in front of Elf girl and let her do with that what she wanted!

I think next year we'll skip the mall...