Oh My Aching Back!

**This post may bore anyone else that reads it but this is my journal so...**

I believe I have mentioned my back problems in the past. I figure that my kids hear, "I can't. My back hurts too much today." so often that I should probably write down the story of my back problems so that someday in therapy, while dealing with all of my parenting mistakes, they would have the information they need.

Back when I first got prego with Madison, when I was just starting to show, my back really started to hurt. There were a few times that it hurt so bad during the night, when my pregnant self would have to pee, that I literally crawled to the bathroom because it hurt too bad to walk and I was embarrassed to wake Matt up (who we all know has....ahem...interesting?....sleep habits) to help get me there. My back continued to hurt through the pregnancy, which ended with bed rest for the last 11 weeks of it which helped a bit, but the 65 lbs. I gained in baby and especially water weight due to preeclapsia didn't. Then, after the pregnancy, the pain (along with most of the weight thankfully!) seemed to resolve itself except for the occasional ache here and there.

Then 2 years later, I got prego with Thomas and the back aches came back with a vengeance,  this time towards the end of my pregnancy. After I had him the aches stuck around and by the time he was around 2 or so the aches turn into debilitating pain. I couldn't lift him. I couldn't stand for too long or walk too far. I couldn't get the housework done that I needed to. It hurt even if I sneezed or coughed!

I went to a chiropractor who worked on me a few times a week for a while and when that didn't improve things she sent me for an MRI. When she got the films back, there it was in black and white. 2 bulging discs, degenerative disc disease and narrowing of my spinal column at the base. Bulging discs are usually caused by some sort of accident or activities that cause repetitive  bursts of pressure to the discs (i.e. gymnastics), none of which I had been involved in. My Dr. joked that I was 26 yrs. old but my back was 85! She continued to try to help me and it did get a little better but never really went away. She wanted me to undergo Spinal Decompression but it was $2800 and insurance wouldn't help. After a while I kind of just figured I was as good as I was gonna get and my Dr. basically said that she had done all she could for me so I just stopped going and figured I'd live with it.

Between then and getting pregnant with Em 5 years later I ended up finding a Dr. who was able to help me somewhat with epidural injections that would numb the pain for 6-8 months at a time. When we decided to have Emilia I got one right before I got pregnant and that did help but my back was still pretty sore towards the end of my pregnancy and my OB put me on bed rest for high blood pressure and my back, then delivered Em 4 weeks early when both problems seemed to just keep getting worse (not to mention Em was just getting too darn big in there!). I got the injections once or twice a year until they just stopped being as effective as they had previously been. The next step was surgery to shave the bulging portion off of my disc.

About a year ago I had laproscopic surgery to remove part of a bulging disk in my lower back. The surgery I ended up with only had a 50% chance of curing my back pain but had a significantly higher chance of curing the pain down my leg caused by the disk pressing on my sciatic nerve. So I went for it. It totally took care of my leg pain but my back continued to ache off and on. Aching I can handle. Aching was good compared to the debilitating pain that I had before.

Since the surgery I have aggravated my back once or twice and have had some soreness but nothing too serious.The biggest thing is just that it makes my back sore to vacuum, sweep and mop, and scrub the tubs. It's usually sore after cleaning up a really messy kitchen and doing the dishes too. Basically I just had to remember to only pick one back aggravating activity to do in one day. If I did more than one, I would be pretty sore for the rest of the day. In the last 6 months or so I've started to notice more incidences where my back would spasm painfully during which I wouldn't be able to stand, which was really embarrassing when it happened in front of anyone! Then 2 weeks ago I bent over to pick up a small laundry basket and the pain shot through my back. When this happens it makes my legs go weak and I sat on the floor for a little and did some stretches hoping that it would at least relieve the problem to a point that I could still function. It didn't. My back continued to hurt and I was pretty limited as to what I could do for the next 4 or 5 days. Then just as it was almost back to normal, this past Sunday night I bent over and was petting my neighbor's dog and it happened again but worse (luckily they were out of town and not there to witness the incident!). I went down on my knees in the garage and didn't know if I could stand back up. Matt was inside the house and I managed to get up and go in and we walked home slowly. Once we got home I bent to touch my toes, which stretches my back and in the past had helped to relieve some of the pain, when it happened again but worse still and I found myself once again down on my knees. Matt was brushing his teeth and I went down on the floor out of his sight so when he turned around I was gone. I heard him say, "Hellooooo?" and there I was crying on my knees on the floor out of his sight. Now that I think about it, it was kind of a funny moment!

Well since then I've gotten in to see my back doctor and he's pretty sure that I've reherniated my disc. NOT. COOL. He gave me anti-inflammatories and some pain meds to get me through while we wait for a pre-authorization from my insurance for another epidural injection. We have new insurance and because Matt is self-employed it is not a group plan and therefore has a $5000 deductible! It seems silly to have to get a pre-auth when my insurance isn't even going to pay for the $600 injection but I guess at least it starts to make a dent towards the deductible...Sigh.

Anyhoo, that's where I'm at now. My back's a little better than it was. Today I can wash both hands at the same time and lean forward when I put my mascara on. Last night I actually slept instead of being awake almost all night  because it hurt too bad to lay down. I walked down the sidewalk to a friend's house today, about 4 houses down, and although I couldn't quite stand up all the way straight while walking, I made it there and back and that's an improvement from a few days ago! I'm extremely annoyed that I can't just bend down and pick up all the little things that get left all over the place each day with kids running around or throw in a load of laundry or do a simple load of dishes. I'm frustrated that Matt has to come home from a long day at work and pick up my slack. But my kids have done a wonderful job of serving me and they've learned some housekeeping skills too.

Really, it could be SO much worse and I am so thankful for my overall health. Right now it's a pain and sometimes I worry about what my future holds with this back of mine but for now I just thank my lucky stars that it's not something more serious and that I have a sweet husband who doesn't mind helping me get my PJ's on when it hurts too bad to do it myself!