To resolve or not to resolve...

                                                                          ALMOST...


Ok, so me and New Year's resolutions do NOT get along! I am quite possibly the worst goal keeper in the history of goal keeping. In fact, I don't remember the last time I made a goal because I know I'm just setting myself up for failure! However, that being said, I am actually thinking about setting a resolution or two this year. There are so many areas I need to work on though. I feel overwhelmed just thinking about it. So tonight as I party I'll be thinking and stewing and quite honestly dreading because after all, I don't do well with change. But, as they say at ummm...well, some fast food restaurant, "change is good!"



To be continued...

Jacob Dylan Bruehl

So this blog is turning out to be kind of a downer:). I promise, it will perk up soon. But...

On Sunday The Hubster and I went to a viewing for our friends' 10 year old son. His name was Jake and the last time I saw him he was about 2 years old. It's been quite awhile! His parents, Dan and Nannette Bruehl, were our good friends when we were dating and just married and I also worked with Nannette for awhile. Somehow over the years we lost touch. But some other friends of ours called and told us that Jacob had been killed on the 22nd while playing with his little brother and had tragically been strangled. Well, no matter how much time had gone by or how long it had been since we had seen each other, the time disappears when someone loses a child. It was hard. Hard to see the young kids who went to school with him come out of the viewing room with red puffy eyes. Hard to see the young football players signing a football for Jake's parents to keep in memory of his love of football. Hard to slowly move through the line and watch his little brother running around with his little buddies and wonder how he would do when the fact that his best friend really is gone hits him. Most of all it was hard to see Dan and Nannette after 8 years and feel the friendship and love for them come rushing back while hugging them and telling them how very sorry we were for their loss. Nobody should lose a child. It's not fair! I know, life's not fair... My heart breaks for them. Below is his obituary. It tells much more about him than I can.

Jacob (Jake) Dylan Bruehl "Once a Panther, Always a Panther" Jacob (Jake) Dylan Bruehl, Salt Lake City, Utah, began his new mission at the age of 10. A tragic accident while playing sent him to his Heavenly Home early on Sunday, December 20, 2009. He was the family anchor and he will be deeply missed until they can see him again.Jake was born March 12, 1999 to Daniel Richard and Nannette Cox Bruehl in Salt Lake City, Utah. His best friend in the whole world was his little brother, Nathan Riley Bruehl. He was a very thoughtful and tender-hearted big brother. He, usually, was a comfort and protector to Nathan. Jake attended Legacy Preparatory Academy and Newman Elementary School. His favorite subjects were math and science. He had participated on the school chess team and won several medals and trophies. Jake loved all kinds of sports. He liked soccer, golf and basketball. His favorite sports were wrestling and football. His true love was playing little league football for West the past three years. He was a true blue BYU fan and worked hard on his grades so he could play there one day. Jake was very strong. He loved to workout with his grandpa and used his physical strength to help out around the house. He would beg his mother to let him shovel snow and mow the lawn at his grandparents' house. Jake used his spiritual strength in serving many other people. He was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at the age of eight. He had a quiet and serious demeanor for important things and everyone who knew him loved him. He gave of himself and will continue to help people through his organ donation. Jake was eager to learn everything! He loved to take things apart. He loved camping, 4-wheeling and fishing with his family. He loved hard work, getting dirty and playing with his cousins! He loved every type of animal (especially dogs). He was learning how to play the violin. He was active in Cub Scouts as a Webelos. Jake taught us all to be accepting and to think of others with compassion. Jake is survived by his parents, Dan and Nannette; his brother, Nathan; his Yorkie dog, Princess Buttercup; his great-grandparents Diane (Max) Bleckert; Richard (Helen) Sweeney; John (Ravona) Stoner; his grandparents, Ronald (Lucinda) Cox and Steve Stoner ...and numerous aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. He was preceded in death by his Grandma Jeannie Bruehl, Grandpa DeWayne Bruehl and his beloved Alaskan Malamute dog Zeus.


Honestly? There are no words. Nothing I can say that will make this easier for Dan and Nannette. I'll pray for them. I'll call Nannette in a couple of weeks when it all hits her. That's the one thing she said I could do for her when I asked if there was anything, anything at all, that I could do for her. Other than that, I feel quite helpless knowing my friends are grieving. Hmmm...life really isn't fair.

Wesley James

I met my new nephew tonight. He was absolutely beautiful! He was born very early, at 25 weeks, but was absolutely perfect! The softest skin, tiny hands, a button nose, and well, big feet! For a 25 weeker that is. He was really quite breathtaking! However, because of a cyst in his lung, which led to heart failure and fluid build up in his brain which caused too much damage, sweet Wesley James only took a couple of gasps and then his spirit returned to Heaven. Yes, for 3 hours I held a lifeless little baby. The only sign that anything was amiss was his swollen little belly which was filled with fluid. Otherwise, he looked perfect. So perfect that I kept expecting him to move, to breathe. It's funny though, the fact that he was no longer alive didn't dampen my excitement to meet him, to hold him. I was honored that my brother and my sister-in-law would be so kind as to share their short time on this earth with him. I cannot imagine having to bury my baby and my heart breaks for them. I wish I could do something to take the pain from them. But I suppose grief makes you grow in ways nothing else can.

Jason and Angie-I'll pray for you guys, that the grief will lessen with time. I'll never forget that I have one more nephew...that I got to hold him, and kiss him. Thank you for the time I got with your sweet baby boy. It was by far the best gift I received this Christmas season!