I hear voices (hee hee hee)...

First of all... Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Allrighty then...

Have you ever noticed that we, as women, are so much meaner to ourselves than we would ever be to each other? I am SO critical of myself. I look in the mirror and think all kinds of negative things. I'm too fat, my hair isn't as cute as _______'s, I have buggy eyes, my clothes don't fit right, etc. I call myself names all the time... cow, disgusting, fat, lazy, blah, blah, blah. I would never say those things about someone else! It seems like when I look around, everyone else has everything under control. Their kids look perfect (mine are lucky to comb their hair and put on a clean shirt sometimes), their houses are clean (oh, if you could see mine right now), they are educated about politics and current events (umm...yeah), they fit into an average size pair of jeans (no I am not going to tell you my pants size), you know the drill. It's stupid really. In my mind I compare myself to me at 18 years old. You know, when I thought life was stressful and I swore that someday when I got married and had babies I would never let myself become fat and frumpy! Ha! I look in the mirror at least once a day, usually while putting on make-up, and I wonder why we as women are so hard on ourselves. Why can't I just love me for me? I can be pretty fun to hang out with I think. I crack a good joke once in a while, I've gotten pretty good at decorating over the years, I make a mean chocolate chip cookie (which hasn't helped the pants size any), I mean, I have some good qualities! So why do I feel the need to look like I'm 21 again while doing all those other things better than anyone else? Can't I be frumpy and cool at the same time? Really though, I do need to improve on my eating and exercise habits for my health's sake, but it would be nice if my self-esteem didn't seem to hinge on my dress size! I don't want my girls to grow up with the same insecurities as me but in our society it seems like it's about impossible to protect them from that. The Princess already gets negative comments from kids at school about how much bigger than the other kids she is. Of course, she's awesome and doesn't let it get to her yet, but how long until it does? How long until she looks at her height as a disadvantage? I want her to stay proud that she is the tallest girl in her class (and  always has been). She's also the kindest, smartest, prettiest and most fun! Yeah, I'm a little biased, but her teachers have always pretty much agreed with me, so there! How do I teach my girls to love themselves regardless of what others say and to only say good things to themselves, about themselves? I know, it's an age old problem and a day by day process. I'm pretty sure though, that I have to work on it for myself before I can teach them! So, here's to making the voice in my head a kinder one.