They're Playing Our Song...(a.k.a. The REALLY Long Post About Music)

I love music. I always have. When I was a kid I prided myself on how many songs I knew word for word on the radio. I love many genres of music, minus Rap and New Age and maybe Reggae. Ok I kinda hate most Hip Hop nowadays too. I'm not a big fan of Heavy Metal either but I have been known to enjoy some good Metallica, Poison, or Aerosmith. I love oldies like Air Supply (The Hubster's personal favorite:{), The Carpenters and Simon and Garfunkel. I love really old oldies too like Frank Sinatra, Gene Kelly and good ole' Bing Crosby (no one does Christmas music like Bing). I love Broadway Musicals and actually cried multiple times through both Phantom of the Opera and Les Miserables when I saw them in person because I had loved the music for so long, and I could not believe I was finally hearing it live! I love Christian music as well, both LDS (Mormon) and non-denominational (Selah is a favorite!) and often listen to my "Christian Music" playlist when my soul needs some down time.

It's hard to pick a favorite genre so I won't (although I do listen to country the majority of the time). I will say though that my favorite thing about music is the memories it creates for me. When I listen to soundtracks from musicals I am transported back to my childhood home, to laying on my brother's bedroom floor, listening to Phantom and Les Miz and Miss Siagon on his snazzy new CD player that was, in our minds, the coolest thing invented since cold Hostess Cupcakes! Man, I'm old...I tell you though, we could belt it out to Grease just as well as Danny and Sandy ever could!

(This was before digital cameras...excuse the poor picture quality. This is me (far right), my older brother and younger sister at mine and Matt's engagement party many moons ago...)  

Neil Diamond always conjures memories of my brother (who just about worshiped Neil for a while) sitting in our living room recliner with big old headphones on belting out The Jazz Singer, not even close to on-key, and me being incredibly embarrassed as I brought my friends through. i wish I could think of a song off the top of my head that reminds me of my sis. but I'm drawing a blank...love you Amber!

The Lion King soundtrack brings memories of turning 16 and meeting my missionary. That summer we met and fell into twitterpation, and saw the movie at a drive-in theater to the sound of crickets and a warm summer breeze. I cried when I sent him off a month later, sure that my heart was breaking...ahhh young love! When I hear anything from the band Chicago I am taken back to a my High School boyfriend surprising me with concert tickets and a Chicago CD on Valentine's Day in 1996. It was my first real concert!

When Matt and I were dating I checked my voicemail one day at work and there was a message from him. He had called to see how my day was going and had thought of me when he heard a song on a CD. Then he recorded that song on my answering machine and told me that he loved me. The song was "When I Look at You Girl" by George Strait. I smile every time I hear it now (which sadly isn't often) and remember that nineteen year old girl and that twenty-one year old boy and the fascination they felt with each other in that new relationship back then.

Then, there's "The Way you Look Tonight" from the movie Father of the Bride. It's one my all time faves because the movie is one of my all times faves (I've seen it like 10 times) but more importantly it's on my wedding video. When I hear that song I am instantly transported back to that beautiful spring day when I made the best decision of my life and married my best friend.

There's a more current song that also makes me think of Matt every time. Another Martina McBride song, "I Just Call You Mine". The chorus says,

And everyone that sees you always wants to know you

And everyone that knows you always has a smile...

Everyone calls you amazing, I just call you mine.

Yep. That says it all. I really am so blessed to have the husband that I do. I really am so lucky that I get to call him mine! Oooh...very cheezy. Sorry!

I know that one of Matt's most treasured songs is Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World". When Madison was little he used to take her out on the swing set on warm summer evenings. She would glide back and forth, her curls blowing in the breeze, and he would sing that song to her. After a few times she picked up the lyrics and would sing along. He (and I) can still hear her sweet little voice as she sang, "What a wonderful will-d...".

(April 5 2004-The day after her 4th birthday)

Over the years I have found a song that, in my mind, represents each of my kids and our family. When "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride first started playing on the radio I knew that was Madison's song. Madison was not only my first born, but more than that, she had been the one that made me "somebody's Mother". The first verse says,

In my daughter's eyes, I am a hero

I am strong and wise and I know no fear.

But the truth is plain to see, she was sent to rescue me

I see who I want to be...In my daughter's eyes.

That it...That's how I feel about Madison. She is my hero. She is wise beyond her years. As Ashlee says, "she has an old soul". She is funny and talented and friendly and compassionate and, the longer I know her, the more I want to be like her.

Then, when T was about 4 years old I heard a song called, "Watching You" by Rodney Atkins. Originally it made me think of Thomas and Matt seeing as it's a song about a 4-year old little boy and his dad. But the more I listened to it I realized that my little boy watches his mom too! There was a time when my kids were young that I used that "D" word (I'm keepin' it clean since The Princess reads this ya know...) a little too often when I was frustrated and my darling little red-headed boy picked up on it and started using it! Oh boy! I stopped that in a hurry! But there have also been times when I have seen him pick up on positive things that Matt and I do.

(2007-Helping Matt fill our backyard sandbox)

Let's hope in the end there's more good than bad! The song also reminds me of the little boy he was at that age. The song talks about chicken nugget Happy Meals and Scooby-Doo, both things that my own 4-year old boy was obsessed with back then. When I hear that song now, I have my little boy back for a few minutes. The little boy that said "gleen" instead of "green" and still carried around his bear blanky with a knotted fringe that he would twirl in his ear to comfort himself. In those moments I see that little boy more clearly in the growing boy that has replaced him.

Now of course we can't forget The Pea! Her song was one I heard on a blog one day. I don't remember which blog but I knew the minute I heard the song that it was the one for her. It is "Amazing" by Janelle. We've talked a little about Emilia, you and I, but have I made it clear how much I N.E.V.E.R. wanted another baby? I was serious. I loved my older two but as mentioned in previous posts, my experiences with babies were not entirely pleasant and post-partum depression was a cloud that loomed heavy and dark over my head with each newborn arrival. To do that again by choice was, in my mind, just not an option. Then my heart started to soften and there was a whisper that asked, "maybe just once more?" What followed was nothing short of a miracle in my life.

(For the record--I did not know I would be in this pic that day...hence the hat and t-shirt! 
Not to mention on here it looks like I have mustache whiskers too! I do not-I promise!!! 
It's still my fave pic of her. Anyhoo...)

To have a beautiful healthy baby girl come into my life and to be given the gift of simply enjoying her was...bliss. When I heard this song and the second verse said,  

You came like crashing thunder breaking through these walls of stone.

You came with wide-eyed wonder in to all this great unknown.  

You’re so amazing, you shine like the stars. 

You’re so amazing, the beauty you are. 

You came blazing right in to my heart. 

You’re so amazing, you are…you are!

It was like hearing what my heart was feeling! That probably doesn't make much sense... I had walls around my heart when it came to having any more children. Walls that were cold and dark and thick. Nothing short of a miracle could penetrate them. But a miracle did. She didn't know what she was getting herself into (then again maybe she did and picked me anyway...)! The possibility was there that I wouldn't be able to care for her, love her like she deserved, if I couldn't shake the darkness that had always threatened to overtake me in similar times. But the darkness never came. It was...amazing! maybe I should listen to the song a little more often now that the terrible two's are here...  

Our family has a song too you know. It's Lonestar's "My Front Porch Looking In". It came out when our two older kids were about 2 and 4. The chorus goes like this...

There's a carrot top who can barely walk with a sippy cup of milk.

A little blue-eyed blonde with her shoes on wrong 'cause she likes to dress herself...

It described our little family to the "T". Even now, when our kids hear it they get excited and say, "It's our song!" Of course, now we've added another "carrot top" to the mix but it's still our song. My kids seem to have inherited my love of music (yay!). The Pirate's permanently attached to his MP3 player most days and The Princess is a natural at piano. The Pea can really bust a move when the music starts and there's lots of fun moments in the car when we turn up a good song and have a family jam session. Most of all though I just hope that when my kids are all grown up they'll remember a childhood full of music and dancing and memories...

P.S. Whew! That was a long one! Thanks for hangin' in there...