This is for the Birds!

A few weeks ago we got a bird feeder to hang in one of the trees in our front yard. We thought it would be fun for Em to be able to stand at the window and watch the birds each day. Our next door neighbors have had one in their yard for awhile and each time Em would go outside she would see the birds and yell out excitedly, "Hi Birdies!" while waving enthusiastically and running straight at them. It was so darn cute!

Well, we're going on about a month now with our own feeder and have found out that the 10-15 birds that seem to frequent our little bird cafe are absolute pigs! You would not believe how much a bunch of little birds can eat each day! We fill the thing to the brim and six hours later it's practically gone! Oh, and come to find out, bird seed is not cheap. It's been really fun to see how many different kinds of birds have showed up though. I wish I knew all their names so I could tell you.

(This picture was taken on Madison's little point and shoot that I gave her. It's focus is going out so it's kind of blurry...sorry.)

Two Sundays ago we came out to leave for church and found a little yellow canary who had nestled down into the sun warmed mulch under a bush and fallen asleep. It lay there calmly while we took pictures and talked about it. I've never seen a canary in the wild before, only in pet stores, and it made me a little sad to look at that cozy little bird who could fly anywhere he wants, and then think of all the birds locked up in cages....I know, I sound like a member of PETA now!

Anyway, even though we have piglet birds with no manners I'm so glad we put that little feathered friend truck stop out there. It's provided much entertainment to all of us but especially Em and Maya. Now if we could just teach the "special" robin that occasionally flies repeatedly into our front window that there's glass there, everyone (feathered and not) would be happy with this arrangement!

They're Playing Our Song...(a.k.a. The REALLY Long Post About Music)

I love music. I always have. When I was a kid I prided myself on how many songs I knew word for word on the radio. I love many genres of music, minus Rap and New Age and maybe Reggae. Ok I kinda hate most Hip Hop nowadays too. I'm not a big fan of Heavy Metal either but I have been known to enjoy some good Metallica, Poison, or Aerosmith. I love oldies like Air Supply (The Hubster's personal favorite:{), The Carpenters and Simon and Garfunkel. I love really old oldies too like Frank Sinatra, Gene Kelly and good ole' Bing Crosby (no one does Christmas music like Bing). I love Broadway Musicals and actually cried multiple times through both Phantom of the Opera and Les Miserables when I saw them in person because I had loved the music for so long, and I could not believe I was finally hearing it live! I love Christian music as well, both LDS (Mormon) and non-denominational (Selah is a favorite!) and often listen to my "Christian Music" playlist when my soul needs some down time.

It's hard to pick a favorite genre so I won't (although I do listen to country the majority of the time). I will say though that my favorite thing about music is the memories it creates for me. When I listen to soundtracks from musicals I am transported back to my childhood home, to laying on my brother's bedroom floor, listening to Phantom and Les Miz and Miss Siagon on his snazzy new CD player that was, in our minds, the coolest thing invented since cold Hostess Cupcakes! Man, I'm old...I tell you though, we could belt it out to Grease just as well as Danny and Sandy ever could!

(This was before digital cameras...excuse the poor picture quality. This is me (far right), my older brother and younger sister at mine and Matt's engagement party many moons ago...)  

Neil Diamond always conjures memories of my brother (who just about worshiped Neil for a while) sitting in our living room recliner with big old headphones on belting out The Jazz Singer, not even close to on-key, and me being incredibly embarrassed as I brought my friends through. i wish I could think of a song off the top of my head that reminds me of my sis. but I'm drawing a blank...love you Amber!

The Lion King soundtrack brings memories of turning 16 and meeting my missionary. That summer we met and fell into twitterpation, and saw the movie at a drive-in theater to the sound of crickets and a warm summer breeze. I cried when I sent him off a month later, sure that my heart was breaking...ahhh young love! When I hear anything from the band Chicago I am taken back to a my High School boyfriend surprising me with concert tickets and a Chicago CD on Valentine's Day in 1996. It was my first real concert!

When Matt and I were dating I checked my voicemail one day at work and there was a message from him. He had called to see how my day was going and had thought of me when he heard a song on a CD. Then he recorded that song on my answering machine and told me that he loved me. The song was "When I Look at You Girl" by George Strait. I smile every time I hear it now (which sadly isn't often) and remember that nineteen year old girl and that twenty-one year old boy and the fascination they felt with each other in that new relationship back then.

Then, there's "The Way you Look Tonight" from the movie Father of the Bride. It's one my all time faves because the movie is one of my all times faves (I've seen it like 10 times) but more importantly it's on my wedding video. When I hear that song I am instantly transported back to that beautiful spring day when I made the best decision of my life and married my best friend.

There's a more current song that also makes me think of Matt every time. Another Martina McBride song, "I Just Call You Mine". The chorus says,

And everyone that sees you always wants to know you

And everyone that knows you always has a smile...

Everyone calls you amazing, I just call you mine.

Yep. That says it all. I really am so blessed to have the husband that I do. I really am so lucky that I get to call him mine! Oooh...very cheezy. Sorry!

I know that one of Matt's most treasured songs is Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World". When Madison was little he used to take her out on the swing set on warm summer evenings. She would glide back and forth, her curls blowing in the breeze, and he would sing that song to her. After a few times she picked up the lyrics and would sing along. He (and I) can still hear her sweet little voice as she sang, "What a wonderful will-d...".

(April 5 2004-The day after her 4th birthday)

Over the years I have found a song that, in my mind, represents each of my kids and our family. When "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride first started playing on the radio I knew that was Madison's song. Madison was not only my first born, but more than that, she had been the one that made me "somebody's Mother". The first verse says,

In my daughter's eyes, I am a hero

I am strong and wise and I know no fear.

But the truth is plain to see, she was sent to rescue me

I see who I want to be...In my daughter's eyes.

That it...That's how I feel about Madison. She is my hero. She is wise beyond her years. As Ashlee says, "she has an old soul". She is funny and talented and friendly and compassionate and, the longer I know her, the more I want to be like her.

Then, when T was about 4 years old I heard a song called, "Watching You" by Rodney Atkins. Originally it made me think of Thomas and Matt seeing as it's a song about a 4-year old little boy and his dad. But the more I listened to it I realized that my little boy watches his mom too! There was a time when my kids were young that I used that "D" word (I'm keepin' it clean since The Princess reads this ya know...) a little too often when I was frustrated and my darling little red-headed boy picked up on it and started using it! Oh boy! I stopped that in a hurry! But there have also been times when I have seen him pick up on positive things that Matt and I do.

(2007-Helping Matt fill our backyard sandbox)

Let's hope in the end there's more good than bad! The song also reminds me of the little boy he was at that age. The song talks about chicken nugget Happy Meals and Scooby-Doo, both things that my own 4-year old boy was obsessed with back then. When I hear that song now, I have my little boy back for a few minutes. The little boy that said "gleen" instead of "green" and still carried around his bear blanky with a knotted fringe that he would twirl in his ear to comfort himself. In those moments I see that little boy more clearly in the growing boy that has replaced him.

Now of course we can't forget The Pea! Her song was one I heard on a blog one day. I don't remember which blog but I knew the minute I heard the song that it was the one for her. It is "Amazing" by Janelle. We've talked a little about Emilia, you and I, but have I made it clear how much I N.E.V.E.R. wanted another baby? I was serious. I loved my older two but as mentioned in previous posts, my experiences with babies were not entirely pleasant and post-partum depression was a cloud that loomed heavy and dark over my head with each newborn arrival. To do that again by choice was, in my mind, just not an option. Then my heart started to soften and there was a whisper that asked, "maybe just once more?" What followed was nothing short of a miracle in my life.

(For the record--I did not know I would be in this pic that day...hence the hat and t-shirt! 
Not to mention on here it looks like I have mustache whiskers too! I do not-I promise!!! 
It's still my fave pic of her. Anyhoo...)

To have a beautiful healthy baby girl come into my life and to be given the gift of simply enjoying her was...bliss. When I heard this song and the second verse said,  

You came like crashing thunder breaking through these walls of stone.

You came with wide-eyed wonder in to all this great unknown.  

You’re so amazing, you shine like the stars. 

You’re so amazing, the beauty you are. 

You came blazing right in to my heart. 

You’re so amazing, you are…you are!

It was like hearing what my heart was feeling! That probably doesn't make much sense... I had walls around my heart when it came to having any more children. Walls that were cold and dark and thick. Nothing short of a miracle could penetrate them. But a miracle did. She didn't know what she was getting herself into (then again maybe she did and picked me anyway...)! The possibility was there that I wouldn't be able to care for her, love her like she deserved, if I couldn't shake the darkness that had always threatened to overtake me in similar times. But the darkness never came. It was...amazing! maybe I should listen to the song a little more often now that the terrible two's are here...  

Our family has a song too you know. It's Lonestar's "My Front Porch Looking In". It came out when our two older kids were about 2 and 4. The chorus goes like this...

There's a carrot top who can barely walk with a sippy cup of milk.

A little blue-eyed blonde with her shoes on wrong 'cause she likes to dress herself...

It described our little family to the "T". Even now, when our kids hear it they get excited and say, "It's our song!" Of course, now we've added another "carrot top" to the mix but it's still our song. My kids seem to have inherited my love of music (yay!). The Pirate's permanently attached to his MP3 player most days and The Princess is a natural at piano. The Pea can really bust a move when the music starts and there's lots of fun moments in the car when we turn up a good song and have a family jam session. Most of all though I just hope that when my kids are all grown up they'll remember a childhood full of music and dancing and memories...

P.S. Whew! That was a long one! Thanks for hangin' in there...

Meet Maya...

This is our beloved family pet, Maya. She is a 3 year old Miniature Schnauzer and is really like a fourth child to me. Matt gave her to me almost 3 years ago as an anniversary/pity gift. He had just gotten a new job and had to head off to a two week training trip and it just happened to fall over Easter and our anniversary. To compound things, I HATE staying alone! I am a very paranoid person by nature and being by myself at night is one of my most anxiety inducing fears. I am much better than I used to be though. Back when we were first married I would either have panic attacks or go stay with my parents or sister if I had to be on my own over night. I have since then hitched up my big girl panties and learned to stay by myself without any anxiety attacks along the way...but I still don't like it! Anyhoo...So back when he left for training I mentioned that I wish we had a dog to "protect" me while he was gone and then jokingly told him that he could get me a dog to make up for leaving me alone for two weeks, not to mention for flying out on Easter and being gone for our anniversary. I am not usually like that. I mean let's be honest, I did kind of manipulate the situation and all. But to my surprise he said ok and I jumped on it before he could change his mind! That night we drove an hour away to pick up a little 10 week old puppy that was supposed to "protect" me while he was gone. Ok, maybe just keep me company! I couldn't find any of her puppy pics but she was darn cute!

We all love her as you can see in the pics above. Here's the problem: She barks. A lot. At people/birds/animals outside, when someone knocks on the door or rings the doorbell, when we walk her and  she sees someone or something, when she hears a noise or a bird flies into the window (the birds in our neighborhood seem to be a little, shall we say, special?). When she starts barking it is nearly impossible to get her to stop, and she is SO LOUD! It's always been annoying but since Em arrived almost 2 years ago the barking has reached a new stress level. I want to strangle the mutt when she wakes up The Pea from a much needed nap! We have to put her in her crate almost everyday when Em takes a nap and then again when the kids get home from school because she starts barking the minute they walk in the door and continues to bark through friends coming and going, knocking and ringing, inside and outside....you get the idea. At this point it is either find a way to control the barking or find her a different home. Let me stop here and say that I do not expect her to be silent. Dogs bark, I get that. But it sure would be nice if we could teach her to stop after a bark or two...or three or even four! I feel like between her barking and The Pea's incessant screeching all day, due to lack of communication skills, I am going to go stark raving mad!!! So, tomorrow we have an appointment with a trainer. Oh how I hope she can teach us how to put a kibosh on the noise issues around here (too bad she can't train the toddler too), otherwise we may find ourselves down by one furry family member. Wish us luck!

Bye Bye Binky!

Well, it's time. Emilia is now nearly 2 years old and still wants a binky. It makes me sad to take her "mouth woobie" because it's one thing that still makes her seem like a baby to me but I've always hated seeing older toddlers with binkies in their mouths and hearing them talk around them. I know that she is not that old yet but lately I've been thinking that it's about time to ditch the old bink. It's not even so much that I don't like the way it looks (it's kinda cute actually) but it does hinder her speaking and the worst part is that, as I have mentioned before, she put's her lower lip up over the bottom rim of the binky, which makes it nearly impossible to swallow, which in turn leads to massive drooling. I'm talking constant strings of spit flowing from her binky drenching the front of her shirt. When you take her binky out out of her mouth so she can eat or talk a string of drool comes with then drops onto the nearest surface...yuk. The other day when we were outside she had the usual spit running out and the wind blew it just right and created a large cluster of "spit grapes" that hung from her binky. Gross!

So yesterday I cut the tip off of one of her binkies and threw the rest in the garbage so that I would not be tempted to give in. I told her it was broken when she noticed it was different. She chewed on it and handed it back. Things were ok and then naptime came 'round. Oh boy! Hysterics for about a half hour straight. I went in a couple of times and tried to rock her and sooth her and nothing helped. I have to admit that I cried too. My heart was breaking thinking that I was breaking my baby's heart. It was so hard to know that I couldn't explain to her why I wouldn't give her her most beloved item. I know, it sounds silly but it's how I felt. Finally I went and got her and let her lay on the couch next to me for while. I decided to lay her back in bed and then I think she decided that a broken binky was better than no binky and she went to sleep. Hmmm. Not exactly what I had been aiming for.

Well today it's the same. A broken binky is better than no binky apparently because she is sleeping as I type this post. I snipped some more off and it's still acceptable it seems. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. Maybe I should just take it away cold turkey...but I can't. I'm a wimp!!! Not to mention she gets mad as a  hornet when she wants that thing and can't have it! We were at Target today and she chucked her box of Gold Fish Crackers on the floor, fishies everywhere, while letting out a piercing scream that actually echoed through the store...clean up on aisle five! Darn that child!!! Let me tell you, making the decision to stop both our woobies (my Diet Coke, her bink) at the same time was really stupid too. When I get stressed, Diet Coke is the first thing I think of. I  made it to noon today though before I gave in to the craving. This may not seem like a victory but it is for me! I guess neither of us seem to be able to stop cold turkey...like mother like daughter. Of course, I guess this gives me added empathy to the binky withdrawal she has to go through. If you have any ideas that might help with this whole binky detox let me know-I'm desperate! Do I keep cutting away at the nipple? Take it away all at once? Give it to her in bed, but ONLY in bed? Help!!! I just keep repeating to myself, "She won't take a binky to college...She won't take a binky to college..."


Your's in desperation,

Reading time...

We've started a new tradition at our house. I've always tried to read a story to my kids before bed each night and the last year or so it's kind of gotten away from me. I've felt so guilty not reading to them like I always have, especially with Thomas because I read to Madison every night for the first 8 or so years of her life and poor T has gotten the short end of the stick it seems when it comes to this nightly tradition. By the time I get three kids in bed I am usually frazzled and exhausted and the last thing I feel like doing is reading multiple stories. So, about a week and a half ago I decided I would get all of them in bed (well, Madison prefers to lay in her bed and T plays quietly with his army guys since he falls asleep in about 5 minutes flat once his head hits the pillow and therefore he would never actually hear any of the book if he laid in bed while I read) and then I sit outside the two older kids' room and read a chapter or so out of one book to both of them. Right now we are reading this book...

It's fun to read out loud and come up with different voices for different characters (although I'm sure I sound like a total dork but it's for the children right?). It's been fun to see how they get into the story, asking questions and moaning when it's time to stop for the night. Madison always has a near coronary when I close the book and she has to wait for the next night to find out what happens. Between you and me I think Thomas just likes the extra play time and I'm not sure he even really "gets" the story but he enjoys it too so I'll keep going! Sometimes I feel guilty that I am reading them a story instead of the scriptures but one thing at a time right? I hope they know that I do it because I love them, because I love to read and want them to also, because I love to watch their eyes light up at the anticipation as the story builds and because I secretly hope that even when they are too old to listen anymore and even when they move away, they will remember my voice. At some point I will have to start reading Em a story every night too (right now by bedtime she just wants to lay in her crib and has no patience for stories when she is that tired) and things will be busy again but this new "reading time" is good because it's re-teaching me to sit and be still with my kids again, something that seems to get lost in our home at times. If you have read any good books that your kids have loved pass em' on. If I get my way we'll  need many books to read for many years to come!