Yesterday I was at Target with my kids. My son HAD to go buy another Webkinz. As if 7 others weren't enough! But, it was his money so to Target we went. While there The Princess cried because I wouldn't buy her one, The Pirate was a spaz as usual and The Pea, well, I had no idea what she wanted--that was the problem! So I am frazzled and finally herd them to the register and we get behind two teenage girls. One of them turns back to look at us then turns forward to whisper something to her friend, who then also turns around and looks directly at me and then smirks and turns back. They then proceed to glance back at me off and on (discreetly?) thinking I don't notice and continue to whisper and laugh. In an instant I was back in Junior High. I was the ugly duckling and they were the popular girls. Seriously! You'd think I'd be past this by now! But no. I spent the next few minutes at the register, all the way home and half the rest of that night trying to figure out what was wrong with me. My hair? It was in a frazzled ponytail. My clothes? Maybe not the most stylish but were they worse than I think? Was it my weight? Let's face it. I'm not skinny. Or was it the whole package? Were they whispering about how they hope to never grow into the frazzled, frumpy, unkempt mother I had become? Yeah I know...why even worry about what two teenagers had to say about me? Maybe because I think all those things about myself and just hope that everybody else doesn't.
This post wasn't meant to elicit pity comments about my hair or clothes. I guess I just wondered two things. Why are people rude? And why do I care so much about what others think of me? Obviously I can't do a lot about other people's rudeness-except try not to be rude myself. But I can try to love myself more. The question is how? The Hubster's always telling me not to make comments about myself that I wouldn't make about someone else. I'm working on it. Really I just want to learn how to love myself no matter what my hair looks like or what clothes I wear or how much I weigh. I suppose it's a journey.
So, here's resolution #2....... Learn to love myself
Sure was a long-winded way to say that huh?
4 comments:
You are wonderful, and I love you!!!!
Misty, you are not alone in this. I too also struggle with these things. Your post took me back to Middle school as well. I was also the brunt of many rude and uncalled for things by those whom I thought were my friends. Their comments also haunt my memories. I think I have always held myself to some unreasonable expectations because of this. Please know that I truly think that you are one of the most talented, cute and best moms I know. I will join you in this resolution this year. I is one that I need to do better on. I will if you will, wake up every morning and say to yourself, "I am a daughter of God, I have worth, I am pretty, kind to others, a good mom and have many talents. I am special no matter what others say... Your the greatest Misty!
Love ya,
Ash
Oh my gosh your post totally threw me back to Jr. High and High School. I think those girls were looking at you saying, "oh look at how cute she is and she has the cutest kids too! How does she do it?" You know that is what I would be thinking.
Unfortuantely, I too struggle with carrying to much about what other people think. I will also resolve to love myself more this year. Thanks for your post. Nicole
Just Sunday night I went to the viewing of a dear friend from high school and ran into my junior high/high school tormentor. I was a grown up until I left and then I turned back into a 15 year who had someone being mean to them!
We all think you're lovely and wonderful. Someday they too will have three kids and go shopping at Target and a couple of 13 year olds will do the same to them. THEN they will feel bad! (little brats!)
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