I'm Tired...

Today's one of those days. You know the ones. Where you feel worn out, discouraged, unmotivated? I feel like I am always 2 (or 27) steps behind where I should be as a mother, a wife, a homemaker. I feel like our family has little direction as far as goals and routines and traditions. I feel like my life is a never ending cycle of laundry and dishes etc...and complaining that I get no help with any of it.

My kids (and Matt and I at times too) watch too much TV and eat too much junk food and don't get enough exercise or do enough work or constructive activities. It's hard to balance the letting them just be kids part with the learning and teaching them to work part, ya know? I want them to better recognize their talents and do more things to refine them and serve others with them (and I want to work on mine too!). I want them to know how to clean the bathroom right the first time...and do it!

I've kind of lost enthusiasm for the spiritual side of things in the last year or so also, and have not attended church as often as I should. I have let my habits of regular prayer and scripture study go and have therefore not encouraged my children as I should to pursue their own habits in these areas. It's not that I don't believe in my religion anymore, it's just that I have become well, to be honest, lazy.

So how does one change all this? How do I change not only myself, but help guide my entire family towards growth? I don't like change you know. I like to stay right where I am, where it's comfortable, and I think my kids have inherited that from me. On the other hand, Matt is very goal oriented and it probably drives him crazy that I lack ambition and stick-to-it-ivness (yep, I made that one up). The problem is, he is rarely home during the week and therefore I am the one that has to find the drive to enforce any knew routines, habits, or projects that need to happen in order to get our family where I would like us to be. *sigh*




But I am tired.


And change is hard.